Life

Loving my job, but wishing for a different path.

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It should be no surprise to you that I adore my son something fierce. He is 15 months old now and is pretty much the center of my universe. I dread leaving him every morning, but I suck it up and keep all the emotions inside. I think that’s why I like to scrapbook so much. Even after he’s asleep, I still get to spend time with him in the form of pictures and memories. Is that weird?

This past year has been interesting at work. I still love, love, love what I do, and the kids that I work with. However, being a social worker (even though I have only been in the field since 2011) is not as fulfilling as it once was. There are other factors involved, but lately, I am attributing a lot of it to missing my boy every second of the day.

In today’s vastly expensive society, more and more families need a 2-person income to survive. When you only have one parent in the home who is receiving an income, things can get tricky. And of course, if that parent’s job pays pennies, and there is more than one child to feed, survival has become difficult, to say the least.

I am jumping around in this post but it all has a point. I could talk for hours, but I will keep it simple. I want to be home with my son. While that isn’t a completely off the table option within my family, it is not going to happen soon. By the time it does happen, he will likely be in pre-school or Kindergarten. Of course, unless I can talk the husband into allowing me to home school the tyke, but that is a battle I’ve been trying to win since before baby. I don’t think he’s going to budge, and I respect his reasons.

I am constantly looking for things I can do from home for money. There seems to be opportunity out there, but it takes work to make it work for you. Everything worthwhile takes work, right? I would love to be able to blog for money, but with the millions of people who do that these days, do I even have a shot? I’ve also taken my former blog down, which I worked my arse off on for 3 years. So any former work I have to show is not longer live. I could start blogging now, and build up a base and try to get freelance stuff, but really, who am I kidding. I’m not an English or Journalism major, so my chances may be slim.

I’m focusing on building a solid budget for my family. Hubs is pretty frugal, but has never had to live from paycheck to paycheck, so he hasn’t paid attention to his daily expenses. While I don’t go out buying $250 handbags or $75 pair of shoes, I can drop $15 and $40 there on random every day stuff. I also craft so I buy crafty stuff (which is not on the cheap side), and I tend to stop by Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks more than I should (which is about to change!)

He told me that I need to give it a rest. If I can learn to live on a budget, we can discuss me staying at home down the road. I foresee that being a couple of years down the road though. He will be in his final year of residency starting in July, and he will be a chief! I am so proud of him, but it also means his stress level will be through the roof. I need to be supportive and not add to his stress, so I will.

Hubs asked why I would want to throw away my schooling, but I don’t see myself as throwing it away. I would love to volunteer locally, in some capacity. And I would love to get involved at my son’s future school, where my background can surely help. Of course, these things don’t pay the large, ugly debt monster that my husband and I have racked up with schooling (and now a house). Yes, dear hubs. I understand your concerns.

Anyway. I think I’m whining because my dear bloggie friend always listens, never judges. I appreciate you being a sounding board, blog, though our friendship is kinda one-sided. We can work on it.

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2 thoughts on “Loving my job, but wishing for a different path.

  1. I so remember that feeling. When I got nothing out of my job I knew I had to leave. I stayed long enough to get my loan forgiveness.

    We had to sit down and really crank out a budget. Which we did by hand. We were paying a fortune for daycare so I wasn’t really making much after that.

    There are tons of ways to make money. Yes it’s work. But you’d be surprised. And there are plenty of writers that aren’t “writers”.

    Your old blog you took down. Do you still have the content? Or access? Republish it and bring it back to life.

    It’s hard in either side but unhappiness isn’t good either!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do still have the content, and have thought about bringing it back just to show my longevity. I don’t want to pay for a domain and hosting and all that jazz right now. If I can republish it here, for now, that would be a start. It sounds like a process though. Heh.

      your situation makes a lot of sense. 4 kids in childcare? Holy smokes, I can’t even imagine what that bill looked like. I have my mom in the home watching Gage, which is a major lifesaver because my job would pay for childcare alone, most likely. Hubs can’t really justify me staying at home right now, for that reason, especially when we have loans coming out of our ears.

      Honestly, I would LOVE to meet you for coffee one day and talk about how you’ve made it work. There is sooooo much information to read about it, and as much as I want to read it, I can’t fit it all in with a full-time job and toddler. Oh, and a husband and a home. And crafts. And eating. 🙂 If you care to share your wisdom. 😛 I think hubs would support me int his endeavor, eventually, but by then G will likely be in school…

      Like

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